I’ve been following this Korean drama called “Pasta” since Christmas.
Today I finally watched the final episode. In it, the girl pictured above, takes what I considered to be a MAJOR set back by choosing a relatively new relationship over a scholarship to an elite, three year cooking program in Italy.
How ironic for me to think that taking a career hit for a relatively new relationship is a set back. I quit my job so I could marry Sung, after knowing him less than a year. I am leaving my dream ministry in the city, after being party of it for 7 years, to follow him into the middle of Nebraska. And I feel like I am gaining by doing so.
Why is it, then, that I am so quit to jump to the conclusion that, for a young woman, love over career is a bad choice? I think a big part of it comes from the time period in which I grew up. After women worked so hard to gain rights in the Feminist movement, expectations for women grew to match new opportunities. In my youth I really sensed that, as a woman, it was important for me to do what was best for ME so that I could live up to my potential. I have felt guilty, in the past, if I let others get in the way of my potential.
But, there is a problem with this mentality, which I am not claiming to be any kind of accurate representation of the feminist movement… rather, just my own small internalized interpretation that trickled into my girlhood. However, this view does not in any way align with my faith, which is centered on the principles of “love God, love your neighbors”.
The two concepts didn’t really seem so much at odds before I met Sung. I usually found ways to manage both. Now, however, when I find myself making a sacrifice for him, or changing something about my plan to suit his needs, a loud voice inside me still says “You can’t do that for a A MAN!” Never mind that that man is going to be my husband. But the truth is, voice in my head, I can no longer make any decisions just for myself. Everything I do effects another person, now, because I have chosen to intertwine my life with his.
So, back to Pasta. I really thought the guy should have told her to go anyway. I asked Sung, wouldn’t he want me to go? He said no. I couldn’t believe he said no! I wanted him to say yes, especially since it was a hypothetical situation and was not going to happen since I’m not a Korean student of Italian cuisine who just won a scholarship to Italy. Trust me– I WOULD NOT WIN THAT SCHOLARSHIP!
But if we do not make sacrifices of large proportions for romantic love– does it ever stand a chance? I think, all these years, I have spent so much energy bracing myself to not throw everything away for the wrong guy, I am critical of women ever throwing anything away for any guy. I forget that, like for me, there eventually can be a right guy.
I’m still not quite sure what Seo Yoo-kyung should have done. Why don’t you watch it and you can tell me… Pasta Trailer