When Sung visited me in Baltimore this past spring, I planned a really fun and special evening for us. We looked forward to it for weeks. It was dinner at a great restaurant (Baltimoreans can probably guess, Woodberry Kitchen, ultimate date spot) and then a show at Center Stage. We got really (over) dressed up and headed out for a night on the town.
At dinner, even though we had a reservation, they stuck us in the worst possible seat, by the drink refilling station and the stairs. All throughout dinner, the wait staff was loudly flirting with each other while refilling water pitchers and Sung and I could barely hear each other talk, let alone whisper sweet nothings. The food was great and we enjoyed it but it was not very….romantic. The play we saw (based on the tragically broken lives of several middle aged stewardesses) left us feeling kind of down. In all, it was not at all what I had planned.
I’m pretty sure the most romantic moment of that whole trip for me was shopping at H-Mart (the Asian grocery store). We laughed as Sung taught me all about Korean food and culture and it was fun to plan the meals for the days ahead. I realized I could spend my life with someone who made grocery shopping romantic. It is much better to have romance be part of the normal parts of life and not the extra special unusual parts of life– we spend so much more time in the normal parts of life.
I think the appreciation of romance in the ways that they don’t show on TV has really helped me get more enjoyment out of my relationship. I have noticed that I do not NATURALLY appreciate the things that Sung does for me that are an outpouring of his love– the little ways he denies himself to make my life better or easier. I am keen to notice the things that I would think to do (doing the dishes or bringing me flowers) but I have had to train myself to notice the things he does that I don’t even realize are costing him something. He gives of himself so much each day for me and when I don’t notice, I miss an opportunity to say thank you and also an opportunity to realize just how freaking lucky I am. I miss the opportunity to feel his love.
Which is why I thought I’d tell you about one of the most romantic things Sung did this year. This year, he drove to Belgium to buy me chocolates for Valentine’s Day, proposed twice and bought me two engagement rings, recorded multiple love song covers for me, brought me flowers, and took me on fancy dates. But this weekend he did something even sweeter. After weeks of talking about buying the new Play Station 4, scoping it out in every store (they are sold out everywhere), and scheming about how to get one, he surprised me by getting a Wii instead. The reason is that he plays Playstation by himself– the games he likes are one player and require hours of play time. He bought the Wii because it was something we could enjoy doing together.
So far, we really have. Thank you, honey!